Thursday, January 18, 2007


Enterprise Architecture: Blog Disclaimer

Any opinions expressed in this blog may nor may not represent my own opinions or anyone else I know including but not limited to: the funny looking guy at the gas station up the street, folks who use metal detectors to find unicorns in their sock drawer, those who think George Bush is really a Republican, those who voted for John Kerry, those who pick their noses, those who have had the honor and privelege of working with me, in the past, the present or the future or those no matter what I say that will still think my personal blog has anything to do with work.

The opinions and reviews expressed are no way an endorsement to purchase or not purchase any product and/or service or deprive any individual or company of income or sales. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Package sold by weight, not volume. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. This disclaimer was stolen. All attempts are made to be as factual as possible, but errors do occur. With that in mind, please note that while this site is intended for mature audiences, one's chonological age rarely has anything to do with such. If you are hoping to find pornographic photos, stories, or likewise; save your time and surf some place else, as you won't find any material of that nature here. No animals were harmed in the creation of this blog.

Any resemblance between anything here and the views of my employer, my terminal, or the view out my window are purely coincidental. Any resemblance between the above sentence and my own views is non-deterministic. The question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the reader. The question of the existence of the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient. (A discussion of non-orthogonal,
non-integral polytheism is way beyond the scope of this blog.)

Caution: this blog has caused some laboratory rats to rip through their cages, fly across the room and brutally murder hundreds of innocent people. Not intended for use by liberals under the age of five. Any comments left by others are the express viewpoints of the independent authors and are not reviewed for correctness nor accuracy. Basically, the owner of this blog is not responsible for anything, nothing your read, nothing you read into, nothing you see, nothing you hear and so on. If you don't like this blog then write a better one yourself.

You are an adult and you should know better than to pollute your mind by reading my blog. If are not an adult and you are reading this blog, you have bad parents and are going to grow up thinking that management and leadership are interchangable words. Tell your mom to lay off the crack and start being concerned for your welfare. This blog does not encourage racism, we don't want to physically hurt anybody (with a few exceptions) and aren't endorsing any other kind of illegal activity. If someone in the future this blog mentions microwaving cats, we're just kidding.

The use of the name "George Bush" does not imply endorsement by George Bush or the White House, The government of the United States of America or the Republican party. Any attempt to mount passenger car tires on a motorcycle rim may cause the tire bead to separate from the rim with enough explosive force to cause serious injury or death. James loves Sherry. Obey all traffic laws. Made of genuine imitation leather.The subatomic particles (electrons, protons, etc.) comprising this blog are exactly the same in every measurable respect as those used in the blogs of other enterprisey folks, and no claim to the contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied. Blog not available in Ice Station Zebra, Afghanistan or Taco Bell. Persistently reading my blog may be a sign of a serious health condition.

This blog should not be used while engaging in the following activities: sky diving, hang gliding, paragliding, gyrocopter riding, glider riding, thinking about enterprise architecture, designing a Ruby on Rails or Smalltalk application, etc. Your actual weight loss may not be as dramatic. Proof of purchase required. No expiration date. I don't know. Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling contents may be harmful or fatal. Your use of this blog is subject to monitoring at all times. This blog will be closed in observance of this legal holiday. Do not dispose of in fire.

No deposit, no return. The air in this blog contains chemicals known to the state of California to cause cancer and reproductive toxicity. Pregnant women are especially advised to avoid or reduce their exposure to automobile engine exhaust, which contains carbon monoxide, a chemical known to cause birth defects. If you know your party's extension, please enter it now. Raised without cages.

This blog is subject to legal scrutiny but hasn't yet determined which laws we should follow. At present, this blog has been populated in at least six different states and four different countries. Likewise, you may as well be in another country. Whose law I am going to make you abide by. And even if we could decide whose law to follow, who is going to enforce the law, and to make it so that it is all prim and proper and followed. I really can't be bothered, and as there is no porn, there is no chance that this site will be the law anywhere.

On the remote change it does breach a law somewhere, well, you are welcome to threaten me with legal action that I will probably ignore. But if you politely point out that I am in breach of your law, and explain how and where on this blog, I may be a little more willing to comply and assist in rectifying the situation, otherwise the chances of that happening are very remote indeed.

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Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Do not disturb. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use. If condition persists, consult your physician. If defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a doctor. Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes. Keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children. Keep cool; process promptly. Limit one-per-family please. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.

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This blog is copyright 2007, James McGovern and if discussed in conversation by anyone within a work context, a bill for $10 million will be due upon receipt unless you either work for an open source company who contributes to any of the charities on my blogroll along with your company mascot being a drunk chicken named Fredro or you immediately trackback indicating from your company's blog that you believe in aliens and Michael Jackson should be the next president of the United States.

To conclude, the point of this disclaimer is rather pointless. Kinda like the way folks get it twisted and attempt to mix context between my work life, my home life and even the after life. Oops, I also forgot that this blog also doesn't represent the opinion of my parent's dog Pinto, my previous cats Trina and Muffin nor any of my relatives in Trinidad, India, Venezuela, Canada or New Jersey. The blog is an equal opportunity employer. We accept food stamps. This disclaimer complies with proposed U.S. Federal requirements for disclaimers Section 301, Paragraph (a)(2)(c) of S. 1618 which mandates, among other things, a free salad shooter if you trackback with in the next five minutes. This diclaimer supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise. Save this disclaimer. Your mileage may vary. For best results, avoid doing stupid things like George Bush or others who in the past have read this blog but have gotten it twisted...

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