Sunday, April 23, 2006
Humorous thoughts on being enterprisey...
Having spend more of my career working in small companies than large enterprises I still find it interesting how folks can read into what being enterprisey means. Anyway, here are some of the ways to tell if you are too enterprisey...
- Terms such as "division," "department," and "business unit" all have official meanings within your company, and all refer to different levels within the corporate structure.
- Each one of the above has their own separate logo
- It not only takes two weeks to plan for a one-hour task but you must also use the company-approved productivity tracking tool in order do so
- Your boss has more people over him (e.g. his boss, his bosses boss, etc) than under him.
- There is more than one employee with the title of "president."
- There is not only more than one CIO, but you run out of fingers counting them all.
- You must attend mandatory meetings in order to find out what you are quite capable of reading via email.
- You are required to change your password every few weeks even if this has been proved to decrease security.
- The folks on the support desk are measured on their ability to close trouble tickets than in solving problems (and it is more difficult to close a ticket than to solve a problem)
- You stamp everything "DRAFT" to cover your butt. NOTE: James McGovern doesn't do this and instead uses the phrase "for discussion purposes" which he observed by working with McKinsey consultants during the dot-com days and they were attached to a document labelled final specifications signoff.
- You need to spend more brain power trying to figure out how to explain sticky situations to managers than actually solving real problems.
What did I miss?